In today's reading we saw the budding of Aaron's staff. But I wanted to take a minute today to share similar miraculous growth we have seen in our own body. Below, you will find two letters. They were written by Miranda M. last week, within one day of each other. She wrote the first letter after a particulally difficult circumstance that caused her to go to some pretty dark places. Here it is:
Giving up
Each day draws closer to the end of life, thank God for that. Each breath draws closer to the last. Hope shines no more. the dreams I never had I give up. I’m tired and ready for the end I no longer have any desire to continue so I give up. Every motion I go through is a motion from the past, so I give up. There is no light, so I give up. I exist every day and that is all, so I give up. My life is complete. Each day I wait for the end. Each day I give up. Every day is the same day over and over I give up. Darkness surrounds me and I’m supposed to fight it, but it wins so I give up. they tell me God is near and he hears me, but I see no sign, so I give up. I’m a hard person to understand so reaching out to others I give up. Things that happen in my life are seen as lies so I give up. I figure I’m supposed to fight for my life but I’m too weak I give up. The strength it takes for me to continue is too much. Yet here I am alive…again woohoo another day a day that I can give up. Most people would have ended their life and honestly, im seeing how easy that decision is I won’t give up there and I chose life though I don’t understand why and trying to understand I give up. THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE. It’s just a letter of the feelings that live within my soul. I’m a lost cause and I wonder why life was given to me. I’ve been told to pray but prayer does no good I give up. God has turned his back and walked away, so on my faith I give up. I go to a building each week I perform my tasks, but I am not there because I gave up. Frustration and anger live within me and are mostly what I feel. I hate the World and most people in it, I hate the thought of meeting new people I simply do not give a shit about them I give up. My heart is hardened, and my walls are sealed I give up.
After writting the above letter Miranda's friends surrounded her, challenged her, but above all else loved her honestly in the name of Christ. Miranda took her friends' words to prayer and God's Spirit responded, Miranda expressed that response with a second letter.
I Give Up 2
When the darkness is surrounding me, I turn to God and I give it up. The devil may be shouting at me then I turn to God and shut him up. When I lose my faith, I remember God is there and I don’t give up. Making everything about me I give up. Not admitting I’m wrong I give that up. Hurting the people I love, I give that up. Not serving the lord and living in my personal world I give that up. Bringing pain and frustration in a place where it doesn’t belong, I give that up. Not taking responsibility for mistakes and admitting it to myself and God I give that up. Turning my back on God I give that up. Making God last in my life I give that up. (The next one is major) Not having to be in complete control I give that up. Not surrendering to Authority, I give up. Not surrendering to God’s authority, I give up. Not paying attention to God’s word I give that up. Not humbling myself I give that up. Pride, I give up. Not sacrificing, I give up not living a life God would live I give up. Not praying when I need it the most I give up. Covering myself with a blanket so I can’t reflect Jesus’s Image I give that up. Turning off my light and not shining for the lord I give that up.
Lord be with me, keep me strong. I ask for your guidance and your wisdom. Show me the path. I boldly ask for more oil for my lamp, I want to shine brighter. I want people blinded by your power as I walk by. fill me with your spirit, drive the dark out, and don’t let the dark come back. You and I are a unit and I’m sorry I broke down. with your power, I have been restored. I trust in you Lord, and I know you bring me strength. I ask that you work within myself and help me with the above statement. You are God ..my God ..Our God and I love you. Thank you, Lord, for this restoral. I know you never left. I feel the devil’s release and more importantly, I feel my own release. I let go of myself. You’re my captain and you sail with me on this sea.
Talk about a budding! That's what I call repentance, growth, gospel! Keep Reading.